Monday, 14 November 2011

What Man(cini)ty's victory means to world football

Aloha to women with no ties to men that I know well that way there’ll be no lies (or they’ll just be comparatively fewer). We were all watching (except me since I was watching the Proteas trying to level the ODI series against the Aussies- which we did, in style, SUCK IT MATILDA!) on that ‘dreadful’ day when world football was turned on its head and the ‘minnows’ of Manchester chewed the asses off their much more favoured big brothers of United. Shock? Maybe. Undeserved? F*ck NO!

Vidic’s absence, Evans’ red, Mancini’s somewhat fortuitous De Jong/Toure swap which in turn gave rise to City’s fluidity in ball movement (all of which contributed to the score being as huge as it is, as opposed to the victory itself which was never really in much doubt) yadi yadi yada is not what this is about. I’ll leave that to the ‘experts’. What I’m more concerned with is what this victory means to world football. At the risk of sounding exactly like I said I wouldn’t, here goes I. In the context of the attainment of victory, what is the link between coaching tactics and talent on the field? Before I answer this question I feel it necessary to clarify that I’m in no way trying to imply, insinuate or suggest that the amount of talent at Roberto Mancini’s disposal on the field exceeds that which Sir Alex has. I AM SAYING IT OUTRIGHT, IT DOES.

Sir Alex has always had the ability to find the perfect combination of skill at playing a certain position and money to buy the particular player symmetry with the rest of the squad. Now this is not really a substitute for pure talent and general ballplaying skills, but he’s always been able to make it work bar a few exceptions. It can also be argued that the likelihood of victory is exponentially increased if the ‘team’ plays as a ‘team’ as opposed to being a conglomerate of really good players who cannot gel.

Having said that, I will say this, MONEY CAN BUY YOU HAPPINESS (or at least success, plus, not having money also won’t buy you happiness). With FIFA’s financial fair play rules being the joke that they are and all the financial muscle at Man City’s disposal as well last season’s performance at the business end of their league campaign which saw them qualifying for the Champion’s league, this is really not much of a surprise seeing as their biggest obstacle in attracting big players was their absence in the Champion’s league.

Tactics can only go so far, the rest is up to the players. That’s when it becomes really important to have a Sergio Aguero in the opposition box than a Wellbeck for example. Apart from the obvious gap in experience in the top level, ball playing skills and pace Aguero would probably be a good bet in producing the goods due to pure footballing (not a word by the way) ability.

Which begs the question, where is football headed? What with football clubs allowed a lot of leeway under the ‘you can only spend as much as you make’ guise (which I must admit is kind of fair) and all the paradigm/power shift(s). The answer- I’ve got absolutely no idea, but as a gunner (an Arsenal fan to the football challenged) I am inclined to say it’s going to be intriguing either way.

For now though, I do not really think that the shift in the balance of power is big enough to be considered a significant paradigm shift. As a side note, I really do believe that Liverpool will get back to the ‘top four’ and Manchester City, Tottenham Hotspur and Aston Villa will go back to being considered ‘threats to the top four’. Time will tell.

*This post was written by gameless after the game but never posted*

Friday, 4 November 2011

Rejection: the big red button

It's 5h16 on a Saturday spring morning. Birds are chirping, guns are blazing (in some part of the cape flats), owls are doing their thing and Sbu's ''everything happens for a reason'' is banging on the radio while the rugby has gone to half time. I know the latter not by choice but because two slightly deaf people are playing the radio so loud Rihanna's probably drinking to that (see what I did there? By the by according to injustice facts, the weekend this single was released alcohol consumption in the US went up 8%, yep, 8,not judging).

Don't get me wrong, I like loud music as much as the next guy, but at 5 in the morning, it's just wrong. Not even the good kind like cheating with someone hotter wrong, noooo, this is like getting a girl to dump her fiance and then telling her you don't want anything serious wrong, or shagging Bobby Brown wrong, UNFORGIVABLE basically. Don't you just hate it when people put sh*t in bold letters for effect but it turns out, IT HAS NONE.

Speaking about sh*t you/I hate- I DESPISE the SABC. Rugby world cup started, guess what, they decide to broadcast the cheaper matches (i.e New Zealand Tonga, Scotland Romania, France Japan yadi yada), but don't bother to show shit we really wanna see (i.e Australia Ireland, New Zealand France, England France...) the nerve of these corrupt fuckers!

International cricket season begins next week, match begins at 18h00 they're starting their broadcast at 20h00. In the words of Paris Hilton What the fuzz? This is all a bunch o' bs (I never actually heard her say this or anything for that matter but it sounds like somethin' she would say).

Aah, guys and girls. Just saw a friend of mine's post on facebook and for the sake of expediency the gist of it was ''some dudes just can't handle rejection''. I think she was talking about a situation where she was walking, dude tried to holler, she hit player with the beatbox coupled with the not-even-if-you-were-the-last-low-pants-wearing-chicco-styled-motherf*cker-on-the-planet look. Dude got chuffed and called her the B word and confirmed his utter lack of smoothness and general inability to speak to the boobed ones.

Now, I don't completely disagree with her assertion that some dudes can't handle rejection, that much is obvious (see OJ, Breezy, the Columbine killers, Beenie Siegel and the crazy lady who cut his husband's johnson off-sidenote, WOMEN.ARE.CRAZY-kinda like those New Zealanders at the rugby world cup that you see before the match starts dressed in straw skirts and Plascon talmbout WHOOOOA!, motherf*cker what? Gimme that stick and sit yo ass down!

Now where was I? Oh yeah some dudes and rejection. Here's the thing, I think that at some level most of us can't handle it. Let me rephrase that, ALL of us cannot handle rejection. Nobody likes to be told their not good enough, AT ANYTHING. Especially if you allowed yourself to think you are. See some people just choose to bury their heads in the sand and not make waves at anything since they suspect they're not good enough and for them, rejection would really confirm that, whether this is objectively true or not does not really matter since subjectively, it's as clear as daylight.

Why then does it seem that some people can handle rejection more than others? Simple- weight, no not that weight. The amount of importance we attach to some things at times at the expense of others, that weight. It's not going to be hard for brothergameless to accept rejection from a woman, a 10 for instance, since in the greater scheme of things, considering my priorities, past success vs failure ratio, realistic expectations (or what I perceive to be realistic), timing, her weave, it is not really that urgent to get that particular woman in that particular space to want to bone me.

It would not be that rejection does not bother gameless, just that in that context it would not be a rejection of me, but of what I represent to that particular woman at that particular time depending on the approach. By the way just on the approach, probably one of the most difficult skills to master. Now if gameless was rejected by a football team, or not even shortlisted at 16 consecutive job interviews, that would go directly to what I think has come to define me- an athlete and a person who is good at what they do. It would really hurt because in my mind that would not be a rejection of me and what I am about but also what I think I'm about. Anyway friends of gameless, any other opinions on this, any anecdotes, anyone get shot for rejecting rakgadi's sister's brother? Hit me up in the comments, gameless, out.

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Persistence and stalking- line, what line?

Truth be told, the only reason I'm writing this
is because I can't watch TV today (which is all
good since Man United are playing and they
will in all probability win- I that team-
off topic), and truth be told I really haven't
been in any situation that's even slightly
reminiscent of the one on topic (the road to
hell is paved with hyperbole and deceit- js
Just read a blog (no library, magazine stand
where I live, and the only newspaper I ever
see is the sunday sun- not even sunday
world- off topic again) titled ''6 signs that
indicate that u are in the friendzone'' and the
only comment that caught my eye in villa de
commenta was- ''If u think u MIGHT be in the
friendzone, then u DEFINITELY are''. Got me
thinking, why is it then that a dude will
decide to chase a girl, get a ''No, not even if u
r the last man on earth'' type response and
still persist in the ''pursuit''? It's clear that
what I was thinking and what GOT me
thinking have no causal connection
whatsoever (I never said it would). I came up
with a few possible, maybe not that probable
reaons; gather round the fire kids, dada
'bouts to breaks it down.
1. Coming up in world that basically drums
the ''persistence is the only way to succeed
in life'' line into your head tends to do that
shit to a ninja. Think about it- if you are
constantly told never to take ''NO'' for an
answer if u are to succeed, hearing ''NO''
might trigger some shit in your brain that the
vocaliser neither anticipated nor desired.
Basically the ''you can be anything you want
to be'' talkery being fed to a zillion kids every
single day should be exposed for the
unrealistic, hyperbolic, evil, stalker-birthing
misconception it is. People have talents, and
we also have limitations, the sooner we
acknowldge and accept these, the better we
will be for it.
2. The line between ''ooh, that cute guy I met
ko Cappello the other day just called for the
fourth time today, I just wanna see how
serious he is, then, I might give him a taste''
and '' what a stalker, I only met him once ko
Cappello, fourth time today he called, I think I
might need permanent citizenship in
restrainingorederville (its a real place btw,
complete with unicorns, a straight Somizi
Mhlongo and an extremely intelligent Juju
baby)'' is completely dependent on whether
the girl likes you or not (it's really irritating
when even SHE doesn't know this). Basically a
ninja can be deemed a stalker by doing the
exact thing another ninja did and which
bagged him the tag ''soulmate''.
3. Nobody actually says what they mean or
means what they say. What the hell is ''letting
him down easy'' or ''playing hard to get''-
shit could get you killed!
4. Finally (personal favourite)- when a dude
gets shot down, they really have nothing to
lose from then on since the worst has already
happened. The ''persistence'' then becomes
(a last ditch effort to wear her down in which
case if any inkling of a positive result is
yielded- its pretty much a bonus, or, most
likely) utterly futile. On the other hand, if he
fails, then he is just back where he started.
With all that said, here's where what I said
above comes into the convo (yes, talking to
yourself still counts as ''having a
conversation''), generally people can tell,
albeit after a few altercations and trips to cell
block H, but people can tell whether their
''potential partner in coititude'' feels them or
not. This is not based on anything more than
what I like to call ''C-O-M-M-O-N-S-E-N-S-
E'' (well everybody calls it that, I know),
nothing scientific. Every single person knows
EXACTLY how people behave when they like
them, and when they don't- simple, isn't it?
Not really considering
(a) people behave/respond differently to
(wards) different stimuli (depending on
factors which are too many to mention here-
a few? time,timing, place, space, stability
(financial-let's not front) and availability- all
emotional and physical), why? because WE
ARE ALL DIFFERENT, and more importantly
(b) most people do-not-know-what-they-
want (until they actually see it, and even then
they still might need to be convinced to
actually grab it). My point? Persistence and
stalking: line? What line? *SN*

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Known unknows

Very few truths on this planet:
1. Alcohol is really a temporary solution to (in
most cases)a 'permanent' (in inverted
commas since nonpermanence can be
achieved through years of intensive therapy
or perpetual drinking- Get it? Got it? Good)
problem.2 Jay Z is the luckiest f*cker on this
planet- raison? wealthiest rapper, quite
intellectually gifted and (most importantly)
BEYONCE (this after seeing the first two
minutes of best thing U/I never had-
whatever the track name is, watch it, u'll
know what I'm talking about).3 The only
reason I write these notes is because I really,
really enjoy typing (well, that's not
completely true but hey, it's not really up for
debate so... it stands),4 Despite what she/he
(thinks she/he) represents Brother/Lady
Gaga is a great singer- yeah I said it! 5.
(Contemporary) Rap is not poetry i.e rappers
are not poets, think... Lil' Wayne (talking about
Weezy, this dude might be the worst thing to
happen to rap since the death of Biggie) 6.
Andile Jali ke starring and lastly, 7. pre-season
football friendlies are the worst.
But you know, there are known knowns and
there are known unknowns, things that we
don't know that we don't know, or know or...
I'm confused. Anyway, what I'm trying (but
miserably failing) to say is that there is some
shit that is so dead obvious, that we usually
collectively choose to ignore, that would
really save us a lot ot time, money, effort,
trips to the emergency room, police station/
court. Because real recognise real, roses are
red and Britney Spears is pretty much
irrelevant- here's a few.
1) Crazy people do crazy things
See how obvious this sounds? Here's a story,
a few years ago an old man sexually
assaulted a young lady by the name of
F*ckifIknow who happened to be a member
of the I'm-going-to-prance-around-naked-in-
fondle-me ladies club (the views expressed
herein are not that of the SA liquor industry
or any of its affiliates, well maybe they are).
The old man got off (pun inteded) on a
technicality and what do we do? Make him
the president of the Republic, isn't that
Another dude who happened to get an F (Got
many of those myself so I'm not judging,well,
maybe just a little) in woodwork , sang about
wiping out a whole race of people, wants to
nationalise mines and banks so he can (like
his role model Robert Mugabe) loot them and
treat them like his own personal piggy bank
and lately is being accused of having a trust
he uses for corrupt purposes surfaced. You'd
think we'd realise that this type of person
belongs in an asylum, jail or even a classroom
but noooo, what do we do? Make him the
president of a group that represents the most
impressionable people in the country- the
youth and dub him ''the next president'',
what? Yep.. Nuf politics, more freestyling, less
written... For the love of hip hop. Which
brings me to my next point
2) Love does not conquer all
I don't know which drug addled, sorry,
smitten schmuck came up with this 'love
conquers all' f*ckery. Among others, a few
things it can't conquer- infidelity, money
(talking about money, ever notice that people
who say it's not everything, usually have it?
hmmm), big brother, war, sex (mostly lack
thereof, yeah, I said it), Chuck Norris, blah
blah blah.
3) People who like you, ACT like people who
like you
Maybe that day she stabbed you, she really
WAS trying to stick a knife in your stomach
and when you called and she did not pick up
for the umteenth time she was trying to tell
you to PISS OFF, ever thought about that?
This from Damon Young, maybe ''I'm not
ready for a serious thing right now'' is not
code for ''if you sleep with me a bunch of
times I'll change my mind''(yeah, I said it).
Fact is we've created a coitus driven
paradigm where lying is pretty much dating
protocol and when people tell the truth we
subconsciously assume they aren't. We select
information according to how in favour of us
it is, especially if it doesn't offend our own
sense of truth. If ignorance is bliss (which it
isn't), 'tis folly to be wise (again, it isn't).
4) Women lie, (men lie) numbers don't and
everybody is f*cked, ain't no happiness
Chris Rock sums it up like this ''men lie the
most, women tell the biggest lies''. Real talk,
702. We know this, we can tell when people
are lying.''I'm working late'' or ''he's my
cousin'', what? Yeah, what? Nuff said
5) I'm in no way an expert in the sh*t I've
just spewed, but I have an opinion about errthang so...