Thursday, 29 September 2011

Persistence and stalking- line, what line?

Truth be told, the only reason I'm writing this
is because I can't watch TV today (which is all
good since Man United are playing and they
will in all probability win- I that team-
off topic), and truth be told I really haven't
been in any situation that's even slightly
reminiscent of the one on topic (the road to
hell is paved with hyperbole and deceit- js
Just read a blog (no library, magazine stand
where I live, and the only newspaper I ever
see is the sunday sun- not even sunday
world- off topic again) titled ''6 signs that
indicate that u are in the friendzone'' and the
only comment that caught my eye in villa de
commenta was- ''If u think u MIGHT be in the
friendzone, then u DEFINITELY are''. Got me
thinking, why is it then that a dude will
decide to chase a girl, get a ''No, not even if u
r the last man on earth'' type response and
still persist in the ''pursuit''? It's clear that
what I was thinking and what GOT me
thinking have no causal connection
whatsoever (I never said it would). I came up
with a few possible, maybe not that probable
reaons; gather round the fire kids, dada
'bouts to breaks it down.
1. Coming up in world that basically drums
the ''persistence is the only way to succeed
in life'' line into your head tends to do that
shit to a ninja. Think about it- if you are
constantly told never to take ''NO'' for an
answer if u are to succeed, hearing ''NO''
might trigger some shit in your brain that the
vocaliser neither anticipated nor desired.
Basically the ''you can be anything you want
to be'' talkery being fed to a zillion kids every
single day should be exposed for the
unrealistic, hyperbolic, evil, stalker-birthing
misconception it is. People have talents, and
we also have limitations, the sooner we
acknowldge and accept these, the better we
will be for it.
2. The line between ''ooh, that cute guy I met
ko Cappello the other day just called for the
fourth time today, I just wanna see how
serious he is, then, I might give him a taste''
and '' what a stalker, I only met him once ko
Cappello, fourth time today he called, I think I
might need permanent citizenship in
restrainingorederville (its a real place btw,
complete with unicorns, a straight Somizi
Mhlongo and an extremely intelligent Juju
baby)'' is completely dependent on whether
the girl likes you or not (it's really irritating
when even SHE doesn't know this). Basically a
ninja can be deemed a stalker by doing the
exact thing another ninja did and which
bagged him the tag ''soulmate''.
3. Nobody actually says what they mean or
means what they say. What the hell is ''letting
him down easy'' or ''playing hard to get''-
shit could get you killed!
4. Finally (personal favourite)- when a dude
gets shot down, they really have nothing to
lose from then on since the worst has already
happened. The ''persistence'' then becomes
(a last ditch effort to wear her down in which
case if any inkling of a positive result is
yielded- its pretty much a bonus, or, most
likely) utterly futile. On the other hand, if he
fails, then he is just back where he started.
With all that said, here's where what I said
above comes into the convo (yes, talking to
yourself still counts as ''having a
conversation''), generally people can tell,
albeit after a few altercations and trips to cell
block H, but people can tell whether their
''potential partner in coititude'' feels them or
not. This is not based on anything more than
what I like to call ''C-O-M-M-O-N-S-E-N-S-
E'' (well everybody calls it that, I know),
nothing scientific. Every single person knows
EXACTLY how people behave when they like
them, and when they don't- simple, isn't it?
Not really considering
(a) people behave/respond differently to
(wards) different stimuli (depending on
factors which are too many to mention here-
a few? time,timing, place, space, stability
(financial-let's not front) and availability- all
emotional and physical), why? because WE
ARE ALL DIFFERENT, and more importantly
(b) most people do-not-know-what-they-
want (until they actually see it, and even then
they still might need to be convinced to
actually grab it). My point? Persistence and
stalking: line? What line? *SN*

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Known unknows

Very few truths on this planet:
1. Alcohol is really a temporary solution to (in
most cases)a 'permanent' (in inverted
commas since nonpermanence can be
achieved through years of intensive therapy
or perpetual drinking- Get it? Got it? Good)
problem.2 Jay Z is the luckiest f*cker on this
planet- raison? wealthiest rapper, quite
intellectually gifted and (most importantly)
BEYONCE (this after seeing the first two
minutes of best thing U/I never had-
whatever the track name is, watch it, u'll
know what I'm talking about).3 The only
reason I write these notes is because I really,
really enjoy typing (well, that's not
completely true but hey, it's not really up for
debate so... it stands),4 Despite what she/he
(thinks she/he) represents Brother/Lady
Gaga is a great singer- yeah I said it! 5.
(Contemporary) Rap is not poetry i.e rappers
are not poets, think... Lil' Wayne (talking about
Weezy, this dude might be the worst thing to
happen to rap since the death of Biggie) 6.
Andile Jali ke starring and lastly, 7. pre-season
football friendlies are the worst.
But you know, there are known knowns and
there are known unknowns, things that we
don't know that we don't know, or know or...
I'm confused. Anyway, what I'm trying (but
miserably failing) to say is that there is some
shit that is so dead obvious, that we usually
collectively choose to ignore, that would
really save us a lot ot time, money, effort,
trips to the emergency room, police station/
court. Because real recognise real, roses are
red and Britney Spears is pretty much
irrelevant- here's a few.
1) Crazy people do crazy things
See how obvious this sounds? Here's a story,
a few years ago an old man sexually
assaulted a young lady by the name of
F*ckifIknow who happened to be a member
of the I'm-going-to-prance-around-naked-in-
fondle-me ladies club (the views expressed
herein are not that of the SA liquor industry
or any of its affiliates, well maybe they are).
The old man got off (pun inteded) on a
technicality and what do we do? Make him
the president of the Republic, isn't that
Another dude who happened to get an F (Got
many of those myself so I'm not judging,well,
maybe just a little) in woodwork , sang about
wiping out a whole race of people, wants to
nationalise mines and banks so he can (like
his role model Robert Mugabe) loot them and
treat them like his own personal piggy bank
and lately is being accused of having a trust
he uses for corrupt purposes surfaced. You'd
think we'd realise that this type of person
belongs in an asylum, jail or even a classroom
but noooo, what do we do? Make him the
president of a group that represents the most
impressionable people in the country- the
youth and dub him ''the next president'',
what? Yep.. Nuf politics, more freestyling, less
written... For the love of hip hop. Which
brings me to my next point
2) Love does not conquer all
I don't know which drug addled, sorry,
smitten schmuck came up with this 'love
conquers all' f*ckery. Among others, a few
things it can't conquer- infidelity, money
(talking about money, ever notice that people
who say it's not everything, usually have it?
hmmm), big brother, war, sex (mostly lack
thereof, yeah, I said it), Chuck Norris, blah
blah blah.
3) People who like you, ACT like people who
like you
Maybe that day she stabbed you, she really
WAS trying to stick a knife in your stomach
and when you called and she did not pick up
for the umteenth time she was trying to tell
you to PISS OFF, ever thought about that?
This from Damon Young, maybe ''I'm not
ready for a serious thing right now'' is not
code for ''if you sleep with me a bunch of
times I'll change my mind''(yeah, I said it).
Fact is we've created a coitus driven
paradigm where lying is pretty much dating
protocol and when people tell the truth we
subconsciously assume they aren't. We select
information according to how in favour of us
it is, especially if it doesn't offend our own
sense of truth. If ignorance is bliss (which it
isn't), 'tis folly to be wise (again, it isn't).
4) Women lie, (men lie) numbers don't and
everybody is f*cked, ain't no happiness
Chris Rock sums it up like this ''men lie the
most, women tell the biggest lies''. Real talk,
702. We know this, we can tell when people
are lying.''I'm working late'' or ''he's my
cousin'', what? Yeah, what? Nuff said
5) I'm in no way an expert in the sh*t I've
just spewed, but I have an opinion about errthang so...